- “You didn’t do what I thought you were going to do.”
- “I expected you to be there.”
- “I am on time. I expected you to be on time.”
Do these statements sound familiar? I have uttered or thought those countless times. It is why Raman Chadha’s recent three-part series on Reframing Expectations to Standards resonated with me. Raman is a friend, former advisor, preeminent thought leader on emotional intelligence, and founder of The Junto Institute dedicated to helping fast-growing companies build stronger, better, and healthier organizations by embracing virtuous leadership. A wonderful human being and visionary.
As is his style, his approach in the series is pragmatic, digestible, and thought-provoking. The shift from expectation to standards begins with a shift in mindset. When we set expectations in relationships, we place the burden on other people to meet them. When we adopt standards, the responsibility to meet them becomes ours. He advises the action of reshaping our expectations to standards begins with our mindset. Our “why.” Why is this belief or action important to me? Once that is clear, then own it, claiming responsibility for it. Finally, be specific in setting and meeting the standard.
An important standard of mine is to be present with another person. Removing distractions, showing respect, honoring their time, and appreciating their value. Through this new mindset, the onus rests on me to live that standard and to communicate its importance and practice to others.
A healthy, productive, and empowering way to live our values. I encourage you to read the series, which you may find here.